Risking It All by SM Koz

Author:SM Koz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

* * *

It’s Saturday, and I just finished morning study hall. I’m starving and want to head to lunch, but I need to get this phone call out of the way first.

With a sigh, I pull my phone out of my pocket and lower myself to the floor outside the mess hall. I never thought I’d be the one calling it off, but here I am.

I tap my fingers on my knee while I wait for Lora to pick up. As soon as I hear her voice, my whole body tenses. “Hey. It’s me,” I say.

“How’s it going?”

“Okay. How are you?”

“Fine.”

Then it’s silent, which is another sign we’re over. We never used to have silence between us.

“So, uh,” I say, tracing a dark brown spot on my cammies, “this long-distance thing isn’t really working for me.”

“What? Why?” she asks. I can’t tell for sure, but it seems like there’s some relief in her voice, mixed in with the surprise.

“I think a relationship requires being able to see each other, or at least talk to each other, more than two days a week. Don’t you?”

“Oh, well, I guess so. I mean, it’s not what I want, but if you think it’s best, then okay.”

I probably should call her out on the other guy, but it’s not like I’m totally innocent myself.

She continues. “We’ll still be friends, right?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I … I know I owe you big for what you’re doing. Maybe when you come home for Christmas, I can take you out to dinner or something. As friends.”

Yeah, that ought to cover my time at Wallingford. “Sure.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s keep in touch,” she says quietly.

“Sure.”

“You’re a good guy, Logan. I miss you and wish things could’ve turned out differently for us.”

“Yeah, me too.” It would be great if I were at home right now. And she hadn’t crashed my car. And we were snuggled up on the couch watching something on TV, but that’s never going to happen again. The night of the accident changed everything, and there’s no going back.

We say goodbye, and then I end the call. Despite thinking I would be okay with this, there’s a small empty feeling in my chest. Not big enough I regret what I did, but also not small enough it’s easily ignored. I’m going to miss her.

I quickly type out a text to Gordy and Nate: It’s done. Lora and I are through. Thanks for the heads-up.

Nate replies first. Sorry, man.

Then a message comes in from Gordy: Is she going to admit to the accident?

No. I didn’t ask her to do that.

Why not?! Nate’s reply is first, but Gordy sends a similar one only seconds later.

I’m not going to ruin her life, I type. I can’t do that to her.

Gordy writes: I can’t believe you’re staying there for her, while Nate writes: You’re too nice. I’ve always said that.

I pocket my phone without texting them back and take a deep breath. No more Lora. One less tie to home. Slowly but surely, Wallingford may remove all outside influences on me.

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